Wednesday, June 17, 2009

A Day In The Life Of A Hanewinkel

I have to vent. Let me just fill you in on what a day here is like... We'll start yesterday afternoon.
It's a sunny day outside, the perfect day for playing in a sandbox or playing in the water... And that's exactly what my kids were doing. I needed to step inside with Rory for a few minutes, so the boys and their neighbor friend stayed outside at the sandbox. Five minutes later I open the door to check on the boys and all three of them turn to face me w/ a look of guilt written all over them. "What are you guys doing?" I ask them. "Nothing! Hey mom, stick your hand in this water!" they say to me as they all point toward the sandbox. "Why?... What's in it?" I ask. "Nothing!..... Well.. Just some water and sand... And some mud and grass..." they all answer back. A silence falls on the boys as I stare them down, knowing there is more to that answer than they want to tell me. "Well, and some of Thor's poop." one of the guilty party chimes in. "WHAT?!" I yell. That's when the fingers start pointing and everyone is laying blame on each other. I run in the house to get the heavy duty antibacterial soap and drown their hands in it, then I send them over to the hose to scrub themselves off. I sit Rory on the porch and proceed to dump the sandbox (and it's disgusting contents) onto the driveway and hose everthing off. During this time, I take the opportunity to scold all three children on how absolutely sick that idea of their's was and how sick they could have really gotten in return. Another period of silence falls. And that is when little Jude rats the older boys out... "They peed in it too, mom!". Fury burns behind my eyes as I turn to face them. "You did what?!" I ask Joel and Cole. Along comes another scolding that ends with me telling Joel it is time for him to go inside and Cole needs to go home. They were both so remorseful though that I decided to give them some mercy after all and told them that if they would promise to keep their penises in their pants from now on they could play a little longer outside.
After I finally get everyone settled in bed later that night I am so hungry I feel like I could eat our dog. I decide to make some popcorn. As I go out in the kitchen I notice a foul smell... That keeps getting worse the closer I get to the dog. Okay, scratch the whole eat the dog idea. Thor apparently has gas. Yea. I choke through the time it takes for the popcorn to pop on the stove, salt it, and lock myself in my bedroom away from Thor-the-farting-dog and his gag-igniting aromas. I finally fall asleep w/ a full belly... Hilight of the day right there.
So, here we are today... Ryan decides to treat us to lunch at Cracker Barrel! Yeah! Everyone is excited. We get to our table and place our orders... Then Jude says he needs to go to the bathroom. I take him to the bathroom and he informs me he needs to poop so he shuts and locks the stall door, with me on the outside. Not good. While Jude is comfortably perched upon his throne I am trying franticly to wedge my fingers in the door and undo the lock, to no avail. I finally decide to leave him and go find someone to help. A hostess had to come in with a pen and stick it in the door to unjam the lock... Thank God! Meanwhile, I am looking like a really incompetent mother. We get home, have nap time, and Ryan leaves for work. We have now come full circle. An entire 24 hour period in my life... And, yes, Thor still has gas. We will be trying a different dog food for him. He is lucky that everyone else in the family likes him so much right now, because if it were up to me he would really be in the dog house. Har-har-har!
And now, here are some pictures just for fun!



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